Losing A Part Of My Existence

You came and then my life changed with every single moment I am with you vanished along with the rain that endlessly gushed from the window pane. But the memory of you still remains. Whenever I close my eyes it’s you that I see beyond the darkness that embraces my absolute blindness. Whenever I intently shut my mouth it’s your name that keeps on getting out and it keeps me restless at night. It always seems that the breeze of air carries your redolent perfume that seeps through my nose like it never did became foreign to my scent of familiarity. You were inseparable to my soul.

You were inseparable to my soul, the spirit that keeps my soul afloat in the ocean filled with delusions of us becoming one. Then it came, believe me, it just did. That particular moment when you chose her to be your girlfriend. It was October 2015 I suppose. I recall that I’m with my friends at some park when he came together with his friends. Inside, there is my classmates and the girl (which I know that she was only her friend.) Then I start to feel befuddled looking at all those birthday-like-banners, those washed-out colored balloons and their loud audio speaker carried by someone while he approach the gazebo. Little did I know it was their first month on a relationship. I know that we’re there because me and my friends have some schoolwork to finish but I insisted going home. I can’t stand any single moment on that place. The whole thing was unbearable. Every second worse than the last.

The last time feels like it was the first. It felt like I am tramping a ceaseless journey while the rain clouds forming atop me. I wanted to run but then I notice my body dissipates along with my soul: slowly, and then all at once.



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