I always had a dream every night and you were constantly the subject. I love it when we were together eating at some fancy restaurant and talks endlessly while devouring the food you order for the both of us. I love it when we were walking along the pavement going to the jeepney terminal whilst teasing each other and you, yes you, you always win because I let you. I love it when you look for myriad of creative ways to woo me whenever I am mad at you for no reason at all because I am just fond of seeing your weird ways on how to make me laugh. I love it whenever I see you staring back at me and our eyes meet across the chaotic room dominated by the loud chitchat of our classmates but we don’t mind them at all, right? We still gazed at each other like nobody’s there. We really enjoy each others company — but that was my dream back then. Now, this is what I dreamed of.
I am with someone who perpetually makes me happy. I picture myself wearing this silly grin whenever he cracks a joke that always made my day. Before the sun rises we use to ride a bicycle towards an eternal journey upward the hill while morning dew evaporates and the wind carries the soul of every dandelions on the field. He surprises me the moment he laid the polychromatic picnic blanket on the grass and he places a basket filled with variety of fruits. A day that has so much memories to cling to. Memories that I will let myself loose over it.
I do envision a lot of things after, even the house which I might possibly owned along with him. I see brightly colored tulips and daisies that waves at me as I enter the brilliantly burnished mahogany door. I imagine a place where I get to feel all the love I once wanted. Whereby his family accepts me for being “me” and my mom supports our relationship and accepts it wholeheartedly. Isn’t it a lovely place to live? A place filled with unconditional love and immortal happiness.
I never stop dreaming. As a matter of fact, this blog is created because of my last night’s dream — except you weren’t in it. I was with someone new, someone who wasn’t you. But it was a pleasure to see you in my dreams.