All Went Back

Do we really need to forget in order to grow? When I try to recall the last time we were together, I can summon only the words he made me remember. His theatrical performances in Tanghalang Batingaw, the tiring rehearsals they had, characters he once portrayed and the plots of many plays he played. Not to mention that we were together on the same wavelength; I am a Mass Communication student while he actively performs on his theatre organization on their school. I get to enjoy every last minute of our conversation because I know the topic he was talking about and that makes me comfortable throughout the repartee.

That was four months ago. But now we were nothing, like we haven’t known each other. I unfriended him and I am so guilty about that. We don’t get to know each other very well. And now I was hoping that he’s not mad at me. Earlier today I saw him aboard a bus. I am not hundred percent sure that it was him but my heart says that I should believe my intuition. He was staring back at me the way we gaze at each other when I used to visit him on his house. The air went bleak, my breathing became rapid like the oxygen I breathe was nowhere to exist. I was gasping for air until I remember that he once have become the oxygen I breathe. Should I stop breathing at this very moment? No, not yet.

I find myself running across the street. To run away from him; to all the memories that suddenly went back. I refrain from running and think of all the what ifs. Those memories we had can be distinguished as insoluble blends of genuine recollections. Retrieving all the memories we shared in that short amount of time after running for about thirty seconds were unsettling on my part. That was the time when I finally decided to quit breathing.

These are the words written by a specter named Mark. Who used to live in a world full of painful memories and broken promises.

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